Polkasound
Well-known member
Hey everyone,
As one of the biggest proponents of this forum, I felt a little guilty taking so much time off of it in the past year or so. I started out all gung-ho and then just seemed to go quiet. I had other priorities consuming so much of my time, but out of respect for mom's privacy, I chose not to reveal what was pulling me away from this forum, VI-Control, and music in general. But now I can offer some explanation.
My mom passed away a few days ago. She was 90 years old and had been battling dementia. As some of you may know, when a parent gets dementia and needs caregiving, your life changes. It no longer becomes your life, but theirs as well. What made my mom's situation unique is that familiarity, specifically being in her own home, eased her mind and delayed the severity of her dementia, adding to her quality of life. So we kept her at home long after many families probably would have entered their parent in memory care.
It was the right move, but a costly one in more ways than one. The whole family pitched in as they could, but since my brother and I were the only two of her children living nearby, the bulk of her needs fell on our shoulders. In addition to running our own lives and businesses, we were managing my mom's healthcare, finances, property, and caregiving staff. Mentally, I was slowly eroding into a shell of myself. There was no light at the end of the tunnel.
In the fall of last year, my mom declined to where she needed expert staff 24 hours a day, so we agreed to put my mom in memory care. We got her into into a fantastic facility in December. We then spent the entire spring of 2026 cleaning out her four-level farmhouse, and got it sold by mid-May.
My mom did well in memory care, but after a recent fall, her health declined more rapidly than we expected. She passed away peacefully and reunited with my dad in Heaven, fittingly, on his birthday.
I'm slowly returning to the person I was. I'm working on it. It feels good to talk about music again. I have one major hurdle to jump yet, but then I should be on track to restoring my mental health to where I can feel inspired to put music creation back on the front burner instead of waiting for a never-ending cloud of dust to settle.
One thing I have to share about my mom is that she was known for her positivity and her stubbornness. Both worked in her favor because dementia did a lot of things to her, but she wouldn't let it snuff out her positive spirit. It robbed a woman who used to play Bach on the pipe organ and slay New York Times crossword puzzles of her ability to read, write, speak, and comprehend what was going on around her, but whenever I spoke to her in my jovial, reassuring tone, it always elicited that positive, upbeat response that was uniquely her... even up until her last day. A far as I'm concerned, she fought dementia, and she won.
For anyone interested, I wrote a more detailed article about all of this on my website: https://www.tombrusky.com/news.html
Tom
As one of the biggest proponents of this forum, I felt a little guilty taking so much time off of it in the past year or so. I started out all gung-ho and then just seemed to go quiet. I had other priorities consuming so much of my time, but out of respect for mom's privacy, I chose not to reveal what was pulling me away from this forum, VI-Control, and music in general. But now I can offer some explanation.
My mom passed away a few days ago. She was 90 years old and had been battling dementia. As some of you may know, when a parent gets dementia and needs caregiving, your life changes. It no longer becomes your life, but theirs as well. What made my mom's situation unique is that familiarity, specifically being in her own home, eased her mind and delayed the severity of her dementia, adding to her quality of life. So we kept her at home long after many families probably would have entered their parent in memory care.
It was the right move, but a costly one in more ways than one. The whole family pitched in as they could, but since my brother and I were the only two of her children living nearby, the bulk of her needs fell on our shoulders. In addition to running our own lives and businesses, we were managing my mom's healthcare, finances, property, and caregiving staff. Mentally, I was slowly eroding into a shell of myself. There was no light at the end of the tunnel.
In the fall of last year, my mom declined to where she needed expert staff 24 hours a day, so we agreed to put my mom in memory care. We got her into into a fantastic facility in December. We then spent the entire spring of 2026 cleaning out her four-level farmhouse, and got it sold by mid-May.
My mom did well in memory care, but after a recent fall, her health declined more rapidly than we expected. She passed away peacefully and reunited with my dad in Heaven, fittingly, on his birthday.
I'm slowly returning to the person I was. I'm working on it. It feels good to talk about music again. I have one major hurdle to jump yet, but then I should be on track to restoring my mental health to where I can feel inspired to put music creation back on the front burner instead of waiting for a never-ending cloud of dust to settle.
One thing I have to share about my mom is that she was known for her positivity and her stubbornness. Both worked in her favor because dementia did a lot of things to her, but she wouldn't let it snuff out her positive spirit. It robbed a woman who used to play Bach on the pipe organ and slay New York Times crossword puzzles of her ability to read, write, speak, and comprehend what was going on around her, but whenever I spoke to her in my jovial, reassuring tone, it always elicited that positive, upbeat response that was uniquely her... even up until her last day. A far as I'm concerned, she fought dementia, and she won.
For anyone interested, I wrote a more detailed article about all of this on my website: https://www.tombrusky.com/news.html
Tom
